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[21 Dec 2006|05:01pm] |
dear westminster police,
i loathe your presence. instead of protecting me and ensuring my safety from crazed drivers who drive 90 miles per hour in a school zone and homeless men that attack my windshield with their stolen squeegy, you pull me over.
me. a 5'3" chick in a camry at 10:45 at night on a deserted road.
you send me the fattest, nerdiest cop who resembles a fat white version of steve urkle and can't answer any of my questions.
i am driving home from my aunt's house, minding my own business. i am behind a cop car, and i distinctly remember seeing his tires, the bumper, and the license plate. he rolls through the first stop sign. i grimace and curse at our cops under my breath. he goes to the second stop sign. i can still see his tires. he stops. i stop. i wait. he pulls over. i go around him.
suddenly, a siren is blaring and lights are flashing. dum dum that i am, i think that there is an actual emergency and pull into a deserted parking lot.
the cop follows me, siren still blaring. you've got to be kidding me, I think. nope, he's pulled me over. why?
for following too closely behind him. "you almost hit me," he said. i look at him in disbelief. i explain to him that I have just purchased the car and it was not my intent to tailgate westminster's finest. (ok,I didn't say that last part.)
i get the ticket and he is happy. all is well.
jackass.
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[15 Dec 2006|12:46am] |
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it's a bad sign when you wake up with a scratchy throat, a hurting stomach, and the idea of vomit coating your mouth. it's a bad sign when you wake up and feel like it is no question that you will crack at some point in the day--the real question, however, is how badly you will crack during the day.
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[07 Dec 2006|10:18pm] |
late night walks. i'm surprised how many people are still out at midnight. it's so quiet at night. i like the street lights, the cool air, the sky above. even if i can't see many stars because there's too much light pollution. it still feels empty and peaceful.
but i have to admit, i couldn't help but keep looking over my shoulders in fear of getting murdered or mugged any second. you just never know nowadays.
but i'm not too worried cause i have superhuman ninja skills. they know better than to mess with me.
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| Lesson Learned |
[03 Dec 2006|03:36am] |
in conservative workspaces, blue or white dress shirts for the guys--but never pink. in ultra superficial LA workplaces, never bring a coach bag. Even the accountants would stick up their nose and pretend you don't exist.
repeat after me: the day you feel that your worth is determined by the bag you carry, you have definitely lost it.
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| Billboards |
[25 Nov 2006|01:27am] |
Which are they selling: ass or jeans?
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| The sound of silence |
[24 Nov 2006|08:37pm] |
Oh silent, silent livejournal... everyone shopping, I guess.
I wore red lipstick today.
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| Migraine |
[22 Nov 2006|03:03pm] |
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the brightness of the sky, is giving me a headache more intense than the three year old i encountered in the thanksgiving grocery-store rush who screamed relentlessly for twenty fucking minutes it took his mother to bag the groceries.
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| Imperfections |
[21 Nov 2006|10:13am] |
i'm beginning to really dislike the scar removing my lip ring has produced. it's another imperfection i could really do without. i don't think I'm ugly, but i reserve the right to have my own insecurities. i'd much rather be modest than a stuck up, self-worshipping mirror slave. girls will always poke at themselves and set ridiculous goals of self-improvement, but i can honestly say that i've never once fretted over cellulite.
i've come a long way since my dowdy gothbaby days and i'm quite proud of how i've survived the damage that pop culture and capitalism tried to deal me. now i am an aloof [partly due to my bad hearing - i just smile and pretend I heard what they said but don't really care.], coy, psuedo-intelligent, silly girl who doesn't have to flaunt the physical to be beautiful.
anyways.
something that needs work, and will most likely show up again in a more polished, typed form:
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| Unhinged |
[18 Nov 2006|06:54pm] |
redirect the lines of smoke circling towards your face,
please do not be offended by my consuming grace.
your words, they tear and they singe;
my body dismantled, your reverence unhinged.
condemned with arms and legs trailing behind,
I drag and I flail beneath your cunning sky.
through all that is endured, my will shall not falter.
though my eyes, they may fill with pain and water,
though my face, it may find itself marred,
my heart shall not change color, will never grow hard.
so I blow this smoke into your face,
only to wave it away with my voice.
if unconditional love finds its place,
well dear, it appears I have no choice.
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| Going insane |
[14 Nov 2006|03:53am] |
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i keep laying in bed with my eyes closed but still entirely fucking conscious, with moron thoughts running through my head. the thoughts are circular, disjointed, irrelevant, like i'm going insane. i keep wondering why i haven't fallen asleep yet and the thought only makes me more anxious, pushing sleep even further. so many whole nights like this. how can i be bone tired and yet unable to sleep? fucking insomnia.
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| Pre-election-day rant |
[06 Nov 2006|08:30pm] |
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all these campaign ads on television are burning my brain. nothing but politicians bashing each other and making false promises. campaigning on issues that they'll never actually have any influence over. the other candidate is against abortion even in cases of rape! vote for me and i'll protect your right to choose! come on. it's a fucking senate race. if roe v wade is going to change, its going to change in the courts, not in the senate. its a non-issue. same thing with all this border security stuff. the 700 mile fence that won't actually do anything or keep anyone out. just propaganda. not the kind of thing to vote for one puppet or another over. it makes me wonder about democracy. so many lemmings just voting for the most advertised candidate with the most negative advertising. so many useless politicians spending all their time thinking about how to get reelected and not how to actually accomplish real things. endless bickering. like watching a bunch of moronic schoolboys fighting endlessly over who gets the ball.
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| Halloween |
[31 Oct 2006|10:06pm] |
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halloween is the worst holiday of the year, even worse than sweetest day. outside my window, this guy just squealed his ghetto truck all the way up the street, screetching his tires to draw the attention of the world, thinking he's cool. i don't get the kids who dress all in black and roam the streets acting tough, posers emboldened by a date on the calendar. just go to a party or something. don't walk around the streets as if its some license to act like a thug. sometimes i just don't like people i guess. halloween's an in-your-face holiday; it makes you feel obligated. other people seem to think kids knocking on doors and asking for candy is cute, but i'd just rather be left alone, you know? keep the door closed and not be obligated to smile or give candy away or get off the couch.
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